College students these days are engaging in what the kids call “hobby maxing,” aggressively adopting interests that look good on a resume, a dating profile, or both. Among these hobbies, running has emerged as the most New York of them all.
“Riverside Park is absolutely littered with young people huffing and puffing while I’m just trying to walk my dog,” complained one Morningside Heights resident.
One student in particular, Emily Walker, desperately wants to be a runner—despite hating running. “Running actually sucks,” said Walker. “But saying I’m a runner is the best feeling.”
“Apparently, being in NYC Road Runners is cool,” Walker added. “I like the sound of being in a committed group of people who all run for the love of running. Of course, I don’t love running, but I like the sound of it a lot.”
Emily has taken this thinking so far as to add NYC Road Runners to her resume, Hinge profile, and LinkedIn. “I ran!… a mile… a couple months ago!” she said in her defense.
Walker has also downloaded Strava and linked it across all her social media platforms. “All you have to do is let the timer run,” she explained. “People will think it’s a treadmill run.”
At press time, Walker remained unregistered for any races but was optimistic that simply identifying as a runner would eventually “manifest the cardio.”
