A local student reported something truly remarkable. A person claiming to be from the year 2049 appeared at the Mary Idema Pew Library on Monday, attempting to prevent four students from forming a study group for their project.
The students were just sitting down at a study room table when someone burst through the door looking absolutely panicked. The person was wearing a GVSU hoodie that had a copyright date of 2048 printed on it, which seemed weird, but also kind of cool.
“We were just trying to find people for our group project,” one of the students explained. “And this person just runs in screaming about black holes and timelines, and we’re like, ‘okay…maybe we need to call someone?’”
The time traveler explained that these four specific people were about to create what future scientists call “Procrastination Singularity.” Basically, it’s a black hole where no work ever gets done, and time just stops moving forward. Forever.
“They kept saying we were the exact wrong combination of people,” another student said. “Like cosmically wrong. And honestly? Kind of rude. We hadn’t even introduced ourselves yet.”
According to the visitor, this particular study group spends three hours trying to figure out when to meet. Then another two hours picking a group chat name. Then they just send memes for four hours straight instead of doing anything productive, literally.
The deadline comes and goes, and the group is still fighting over who has to do the intro slide. Nobody wants to do it. The argument continues for weeks.
The time traveler got very serious and said this exact study group is still meeting in 2049. Twenty-two years later. Still on the same project. Still saying they’ll definitely start next week. They’ve been trapped in an endless cycle of procrastination for over two decades.
“I asked them what our project was even about,” one student recalled. “And they said they didn’t know because we never actually picked a topic. Not one in twenty-two years. That’s when I got a little worried.”
They made the group chat anyway. The time traveler just put their head in their hands and slowly faded out of existence, mumbling something about how the timeline was doomed, and they tried their best.
When reached for comment about the time traveler’s warning, one student said they’d definitely think about it later.
