A Monday afternoon lunch rush at Grand Valley State University’s Fresh Food Company took a dramatic turn this week after a student reported what they believed to be a raw, uncooked chicken carcass sitting unattended near the salad bar.
A discovery that–had it been true–would have represented either a catastrophic health code violation or a very bold new approach to the made-to-order station.
It was not a chicken. It was Reginald.
Reginald is a five-year-old Sphynx cat, a certified emotional support animal, and by all accounts a beloved companion to his owner, a GVSU student who had brought him into the lunch area, in accordance with the university’s emotional support animal accommodation policy.
Reginald was, at the time of the incident, sitting peacefully on the table near the salad bar, doing what Sphynx cats do, which is to exist in a way that raises eyebrows and questions at the same time.
The student who spotted him had no knowledge of this. They reported they saw a small, pale, wrinkled, entirely hairless creature approximately the size and color of a Costco rotisserie chicken pre-rotation, and did what any reasonable person would do. They panicked.
“I thought it was moving,” the student reported to the dining hall staff, which, to be fair, it was because it was alive.
Within the hour, a formal complaint was submitted to Campus Health Services alleging that raw poultry was being left out in the open near the food stations at Fresh Food Co. The complaint was described as a “clear and present health code violation, and honestly just really upsetting to see while you’re trying to eat a wrap.”
Campus Health Services, to their immense credit, took the complaint seriously and dispatched a representative to investigate. Upon arriving at the dining hall, the representative located the alleged raw chicken, approached it, and stopped walking.
The representative stood there for a minute. Reginald blinked.
The report was filed. It stated that the said raw poultry was confirmed to be a domestic cat that happened to bear a discernible visual resemblance to uncooked meat. Following that, it was stated that no health code violations were found, and that Reginald was properly registered as an ESA.
Grand Valley Dining Services has recently released an official statement addressing the incident. The statement reads:
“Grand Valley Dining Services wants to assure our campus community that all poultry served in our dining facility is 100% poultry and 100% not cat. We are committed to transparency, food safety, and the well-being of all members of our campus community, including those of the emotional support variety.”
Reginald has not been charged with any violations at this time.
