Parent Solves Winter Break Standoff By Strapping College Student To Plane Seat, Launching Them Back To Campus
The student apparently could be heard yelling that they “could have driven” while ascending rapidly by the flight radio.
Asu Student Suspended From Tooker for Allegedly Sleeping Before CMH 114 Midterm
Residential staff labeled the incident “a breach of academic culture,” noting that J’s eight full hours of rest posed “a violation of the complete Fulton School’s experience.” Students on the floor gathered in the hallway chanting obscenities as RAs escorted J out of the building for what they described as “malicious resting.”
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ASU Professor Blows up After Freshman Won’t Stop Yelling 6 7 in ISTB.
Witnesses say the professor froze mid-equation, muttered something about “the laws of thermodynamics not applying to clowns,” and then detonated emotionally, screaming that if he heard those numbers again, he’d “personally turn the building into plasma.”
ASU Professor Blows up After Freshman Won’t Stop Yelling 6 7 in ISTB. Read More »
ASU Student Goes Missing After Meeting With a Wildcat, Student Council Accused of Putting out a Hit.
Chaos erupted on the ASU campus Monday evening following news of a missing student over allegations of fraternizing with a University of Arizona student.
ASU Establishes The “ASU Commuters Force” to Terrorize Commuters
“Why should they, those low-life, car-driving, money saving stains on humanity, be treated equal to us, who pay lavish fees for the complete college experience”, says one concerned dormer.
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ASU Reveals Latest Innovation, ATSD, a “Homegrown” STD
ASTD: ASU’s Latest Innovation No One Wanted
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Parkmobile and Aimsparking Battle for Worst User Experience
In a battle no driver asked for, AIMSParking and Parkmobile have decided to wage a war that shall burn everyone but themselves. Each app has, for quite some time, decided that UIs can get worse. Prices can become more unreasonable as a battle of wits ensues, especially in the lead-up to a fresh batch of money-making students descending on the scene, most sporting exotic and sought-after cars, causing a war of attrition to break out between the big dogs of ASU’s parking scene.
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Student Who Took 20 Minute Nap While Studying For Finals at Risk of No Longer Passing Classes
A rumor that’s been going around campus stating that Tommy Danes, a local senior, decided to take a 20-minute nap during finals week has turned true when his roommates found him asleep when they got home. The consequences of Tommy’s actions will result in a fine from the school and possibly being kicked off the Dean’s List due to academic negligence.
Morally Corrupt Engineering Major Takes Pay Cut to work at Lockheed Martin Saying, “Its not always about the money”
“I really think I can change the world for the better” is what Arizona State engineering major, Siegfried Rudolph, said after his fellow classmates found out he accepted a job after graduation at Lockheed Martin. It is rumored that he waived 65% of his starting salary because he believes that Lockheed Martin has the potential
Reverse Good Will Hunting? This Underpaid Math Teacher Quit to Become a Janitor
As teachers across the country have shown time and time again that their wages are far too low, one math teacher has taken matters into their own hands.
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