The Nut Off Campus

Boeing Announces New Streaming Service After Learning it Can Prevent Lawsuits

Are you looking for a new streaming service? Are you comfortable waiving your right to sue if the door falls off during your flight? Then prepare for take-off into Boeing’s brand new platform, “Bo-stream”, available soon in the App Store!

“I was made aware that many people have become fearful of flying in our 747s.,” said Boeing’s new CEO, Kelly Ortberg, “Our streaming content was specifically selected to remind people that while air travel is very safe, sometimes planes just crash and it shouldn’t be held against Boeing.”

According to Ortberg, Bo-Stream will feature exclusively air travel-related films and shows such as Sully, Lost, Alive, Final Destination, Cast Away, Yellowjackets, and many more!

To encourage people to choose the 747 for their travel, Bo-Stream will be automatically connected to the 747’s wifi without additional fees. While connected, you will also get live updates on your flight’s eta and or how much longer the plane will be able to stay in the air.

Bo-stream can be accessed once you accept the moderate 7,567-page terms and conditions document. Accepting the app’s terms and conditions permanently prevents its users from being able to take legal action against Boeing for the rest of their lives. “This is a new era for Boeing!,” said Ortberg, “So next time you fly, open Bo-Stream, watch a movie, and don’t bother yourself with how many wings a plane should have.”

Boeing Announces New Streaming Service After Learning it Can Prevent Lawsuits Read More »

Matt Gaetz Claims He Did Not Receive Any Botox or Other Gender-Affirming Care

Matt Gaetz a congressman from Florida, who is currently being investigated for sex trafficking a minor, recently spoke at the republican national convention looking smoother and shinier than ever. This led to many people on the internet claiming that he had some work done prior to speaking at the convention.

Matt Gaetz Claims He Did Not Receive Any Botox or Other Gender-Affirming Care Read More »

Americans Leave Out Hotdogs and Water on July 4th eve for 16 time Hot Dog Eating Champion Joey Chestnut

Every year on the 4th of July, Americans across the country celebrate the way God truly intended, by watching Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Every time all eyes are on one man. No one has captured the hearts of Americans quite like the 16-time champion, Joey Chestnut.

Americans Leave Out Hotdogs and Water on July 4th eve for 16 time Hot Dog Eating Champion Joey Chestnut Read More »

Verified by MonsterInsights