Drew

Student Caught Trying to Bribe Their Professor to Get Off Waitlist For Class

Professor, Student /

In a shocking turn of events at Drew University, a desperate student on the waitlist for a popular class has resorted to extreme measures to secure a spot. The student, who we’ll call “Bargain Billy,” allegedly attempted to make an offer the professor couldn’t refuse. It all started innocently enough, with Bargain Billy approaching the […]

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Student’s Roommate Finally Returns to The Room After Breaking up With Boyfriend

Student /

Having roommates while in college can be an emotional and experienced rollercoaster. You never know what awaits you when you arrive at your dorm, from impromptu movie evenings to late-night study sessions. But there’s always that one type of roommate who never shows up. Their significant other is the reason for this unusual occasion. What

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Drew Facilities Won’t Stop Until They Blowing Away Every Last Leaf

Campus, Uncategorized /

It’s that time of year, when the leaves change color and turn our forest into a picturesque orange rainbow perfect for promotional pictures. But there’s one drawback to this lovely time of year. Once the leaves fall, Drew releases an army of highly trained facilities staff whose one mission is to find and destroy every

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Drew Started Setting Up For Christmas Way Too Early and is Playing Mariah Carey on Repeat in the Commons

Campus, Food, Holiday /

In a shocking turn of events, it seems that Drew University has completely skipped over Thanksgiving and jumped straight into the Christmas spirit. Mariah Carey’s infamous holiday tune All I Want for Christmas Is You has been blaring through the speakers in the Commons 24/7.   This move has caused great distress to residents of nearby Welch

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Drew Replaces Shakespeare Theatre With Applebee’s, Students Will be Able to Exchange Points for Dollaritas

Campus, Food /

Drew students have been disappointed at the absence of any popular chain restaurants on campus for years. While other schools have a food court with a variety of restaurants to choose from, Drew students are limited to Commons or EC. At last, though, students will get what they’ve been asking for; Drew University will be

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Drew Offers Ranger+ Subscription Service Which Includes C-Store Discounts, Improved Grades, A Golf Cart, and More!

Campus /

It’s Monday morning and you just woke up at 8:10 am on the day of your 8:30 am lecture. With little time to get ready, you already know that you are going to be shuffling into class late with no coffee. Luckily, you are one of the few students smart enough to have purchased “Ranger

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Disney+ Account of 1654 Students Gets Shutdown After Disney Decides to Crack Down on Password Sharing

Campus, National /

“I don’t have any friends to share my Disney Plus account with so why should other people get to?!,” said Disney CEO, Bob Iger. (Tune in next week for “The Nut gets sued by the Disney Corporation”) Iger went on to say that Disney Plus will end all account sharing by 2024. This is bad

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