Drew University’s LAUNCH program has just announced an innovative new workshop designed to tackle one of the most difficult challenges facing students today: answering the question, “So, what’s your major?” without spiraling into existential dread.
LAUNCH to Offer ‘How to Answer “So, What’s Your Major?” Without Crying’ Workshop Read More »
In a recent shocking revelation to the Drew community, it has been discovered that this past Monday’s construction at Brothers College was not merely a routine roof replacement — in fact, a top-secret project is underway to transform the historic building into a launchpad for a guided cruise missile.
In a move that’s shaking the academic world (or at least the very quiet world of Drew University), all Drew professors are being replaced by an AI chat bot. That’s right—goodbye, actual humans with PhDs and personal vendettas against tardy students, and hello to a shiny, 24/7, emotionally-void chatbot that doesn’t care if you turn in your essay 11 days late, as long as you type it in Comic Sans.
Due to Budget Cuts, Drew Starts Replacing Professors With ChatGPT Read More »
In a shocking display of defiance against the university’s tightened security protocols, a group of Drew University students recently gathered in the heart of campus to perform a satanic ritual.
In a revolutionary new program aimed at increasing student “immersion” (without the pesky expense of actual flights or cultural exchanges), Drew University has announced its latest initiative: Study Abroad in the Metaverse.
Drew Saves Money by Switching All Long Treks to the Meta Verse Read More »
Drew University has officially announced its most awaited course offering: Advanced Ghosting Techniques 404. This course, designed for students wishing to learn the fine art of disappearing from social obligations and embarrassing circumstances, promises to take ghosting to the next level.
In a shocking turn of events that has left Drew University students feeling more than hangry, the campus’s newly implemented Grubhub-based dining system has been crippled by a ransomware attack.
Well, it’s official, on March 19, 2024, Beenie’s Ice Cream, the gem of Morristown, has been named “World’s Best Ice Cream”. The title was given by the one and only, Drew Sophomore, Craig Stevenson who, in his long history as an unofficial taste tester, has tried over 4 different Ice Cream places from here to his home state of Nebraska.
Beenie’s Ice Cream Named Best in the World by Drew Student Craig Stevenson Read More »
Sarah Nelson, a swiftie here at Drew wanted to show that it is perfectly normal to travel in luxury no matter how long the trip is. The trip in question was from her dorm in Mclendon to her environmental studies class in Brothers College which is usually a grueling 10-minute walk. Thanks to her private jet, the trip took only 32 seconds.
Swiftie Flies Private Jet From McLendon To Class In Brothers College Read More »
One of Drew University’s fun and unique features is the on-campus bar, The Pub, located in the EC. Known for its cozy atmosphere and bizarre videos, it has also been a favorite because of its free pizza policy. Alas, this is finally changing, with pizza now costing $2.
