February 14, 2026

Single Commuter Must Consciously Resist Urge to Run Over Pedestrian Couples Every Valentine’s Day

“I can barely drive during the holiday. Whenever I see some couple walking hand-in-hand down the street, flaunting in my face what I can’t have, I just get so angry. All I’d need to do is scootch my steering wheel a little to the right and I could show those motherfuckers how bad they make me feel, it’d be so easy, I have to bite my lip to take my mind off how easy it’d be”

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Why You Should Date a Sophomore Digital Storytelling Major With a Creative Writing Minor Who Enjoys Recreational Ultimate Frisbee, Is Basically 6 Feet Tall, and Frequently Plays Pokémon Legends: Arceus (but Not Legends: Z-a)

It’s common knowledge that Valentine’s Day was created to torture single people. Though cruel and unusual punishment is made illegal by the Bill of Rights, Valentine’s Day nonetheless continues to exist.

Why You Should Date a Sophomore Digital Storytelling Major With a Creative Writing Minor Who Enjoys Recreational Ultimate Frisbee, Is Basically 6 Feet Tall, and Frequently Plays Pokémon Legends: Arceus (but Not Legends: Z-a) Read More »

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