February 18, 2026

HEARTBREAKING: Local Javelina Population Continues to Completely Ignore All the Cool New Plants We’ve Added

Despite the prevalence of these critters all around the area, University of Arizona groundskeeper Greta Dawson has noted a considerable lack of their presence on campus. “Can you believe that the last time Javelinas wandered onto campus was nearly a century ago? Have we really become that much less inviting?” Said the *single 66-year old gardener and former design consultant.

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Student Gets Hypothermia From Cold Shower After Heater Broke

The CU Boulder campus is split into factions over a contentious issue. The debate started in mid-January and quickly spiraled out of control. The campus water heaters have been experiencing issues since there have been student dorms, but lately, things have taken a turn. Students haven’t been able to take even 10-minute showers without the water turning cold, leading to many abstaining from showering in the first place.