Boulder, CO— A recent study conducted by anthropology upperclassmen has made waves in the broader CU community. The study, meant only to observe the human connection to the sun, reveals that intrinsically every 17-19-year-old feels a call to the sun.
“It’s similar to how cats are drawn to patches of sunlight; these freshmen simply can’t fight the call of the sun when it’s above 50 degrees.” Carla McIntosh told us, a junior who wanted to join this study after observing her brother, a current freshman, constantly running to even the slightest hints of warmth from the sun.
We attempted to talk to Carla’s brother, but halfway through our interview, the previously cloudy day turned sunny, causing Ian McIntosh to sprint away from us at full speed before tearing his shirt off and rolling in Farrand Field.
This phenomenon curiously doesn’t seem to be limited to the warmer seasons either. In fact, freshmen can be seen flocking to open spaces slightly more in the winter, meaning that current ground conditions aren’t a factor in whether or not they need to be outside. The only factor needed is the sun, and perhaps a football to throw around aimlessly.
The study is still gathering data and witness testimonies, but Carla has some ideas as to what could be causing this behavior. “I think freshmen are closer to being hyenas, where they have to do things in packs and constantly eat everything. Lounging in the sun together is the best way to be in a “pack” and absorb the sun’s rays for energy.”
Once someone turns 20, the unavoidable pull towards the sun seemingly disappears and is replaced with a more manageable serotonin boost and a slight tan.
