Taking inspiration from Timothée Chalamet’s comments on the apparent lack of interest in ballet and opera, Kennesaw State University has decided to tear down the Zuckerman Art Museum to make way for a brand new parking lot.
Our reporters flocked to the scene to gauge the students’ reactions. We tried to interview art majors, but they were too preoccupied with grabbing their pieces from the actively collapsing building, as they were given notice ten minutes before demolition. This left us with the next best option, which was a guy wearing shorts and a t-shirt in forty-degree weather.
“Uh, I didn’t know we had an art museum, but I guess more parking is pretty cool.”
It is true that Kennesaw State has had a rough time with parking this year, what with the large freshman class and the comparatively low amount of parking spaces. While the loss of the Zuckerman Art Museum is a divisive topic, the introduction of a new parking lot will be sure to help more students get onto campus more easily.
When we interviewed the administrator in charge of the construction, we asked if he had any plans to make way for more student parking in the future. Upon hearing this, he gave us a confused look.
“Student parking? This will be a faculty lot.”
