Expecting a normal return to class after a restful spring break? Not on Georgia State’s watch! Students on the downtown campus were shocked to return on Monday to find half of the Greenway blocked by Georgia State Blue™ fencing. The barrier prohibits students from entering the Student Center, Library North, and Langdale Hall from the Greenway.
“That’s okay,” one student said, “No one uses those buildings anyway.”
Reactions to the blockage have been mixed, varying from anger to blind rage.
One student, who was already late to class, said, “Ah, ****,” upon arriving at the barrier.
Mia Noshough, who has already skipped all of her classes this semester, said, “Sweet, I guess I don’t have to go to class today!”
The campus library has also been impacted by the Greenway closure. Sources say a librarian was found curled into a ball, as all of her coworkers had been unable to find their way into the building that morning.
“We have multiple entrances,” she said. “I swear.”
Students are not so convinced.
“I didn’t even know the library had more than one entrance,” said a freshman.
“Me neither,” said a senior who should know better.
One student was caught trying to climb over the metal fence. They were immediately airlifted away by a GSUPD helicopter. Witnesses say he was spotted drafting an apology e-mail to his professor as he dangled from a long rope. The Nut reached out and was granted access to the contents of the e-mail. It reads:
Dear Professor [Name redacted for anonymity],
I am writing to inform you that I will be unable to attend class today. The Great Bird in the sky has taken me away for good. God willing, I will return by class time on Wednesday.
Sincerely, [GSU Student].
Students who utilize the school’s detour option remain unsatisfied. Upon arrival in Langdale Hall, they still have to wait 30 minutes for an elevator. You can read more about the Langdale elevators here.
Georgia State has since been named the #1 University in the nation for Keeping Students on Their Toes.
