National

Method Actors? The Broadway Tour Cast of Mean Girls Got Hit by a Bus in Toronto

National /

UPDATE: 8:03 pm EST in Toronto, Canada: The opening night of the Mean Girls Tour was a “triumph” the New York Times praised. Donned in a sustainable and sparkly recycled trash bag, lead actress Maya Petropoulos beamed: “I got to sing and act like a bitch all night,” she crowed. “I can’t believe I get paid to do this,” she gushed to reporters.

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Matt Gaetz Claims He Did Not Receive Any Botox or Other Gender-Affirming Care

National /

Matt Gaetz a congressman from Florida, who is currently being investigated for sex trafficking a minor, recently spoke at the republican national convention looking smoother and shinier than ever. This led to many people on the internet claiming that he had some work done prior to speaking at the convention.

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Americans Leave Out Hotdogs and Water on July 4th eve for 16 time Hot Dog Eating Champion Joey Chestnut

Food, Holiday, National /

Every year on the 4th of July, Americans across the country celebrate the way God truly intended, by watching Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Every time all eyes are on one man. No one has captured the hearts of Americans quite like the 16-time champion, Joey Chestnut.

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DNC Wheels 99-Year-Old Jimmy Carter Out of Hospice Care to Replace Biden

National, Uncategorized /

In a developing story out of Atlanta, Georgia. 78-year-old Donald Trump faced off against 81-year-old President Joe Biden this Thursday, June 27, 2024, for the first Geriatric Presidential Debate of the United States. “After a poor performance at the debate, the Democratic Party is no longer confident that Biden’s advanced age will not affect his ability to serve another 4-year term.,” said Nut Political Analyst, Amy Cooperest. “In light of this, the party has decided to pivot their support to the 39th President of the United States, 99-year-old Jimmy Carter.” Cooperest went on to explain that the former President will be wheeled out of hospice to take on Donald Trump on the 2024 Campaign Trail.

“President Carter’s wheelchair may not win him any style points but I assure you that he is stronger than ever”, said Vice President Kamala Harris, proudly standing by her new running mate, “The idea that I might have to take over is outrageous. After all, 99 is the new 65!”

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Topspin 2k25 releases “Challengers” DLC with little to no tennis

National, Uncategorized /

Does pressing the “X” button serve the ball or does that also just dick slap your opponent? This is just one of many questions you’ll ask when playing the new “Challengers” DLC, now available for Top Spin 2K25. That’s right, 2K Games, creators of the tennis video game Top Spin, have just released a new

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Swiftie Flies Private Jet From McLendon To Class In Brothers College

National, Student /

Sarah Nelson, a swiftie here at Drew wanted to show that it is perfectly normal to travel in luxury no matter how long the trip is. The trip in question was from her dorm in Mclendon to her environmental studies class in Brothers College which is usually a grueling 10-minute walk. Thanks to her private jet, the trip took only 32 seconds.

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