A routine hike up Chautauqua Trail ended in disaster Tuesday when CU freshman Christopher McMillan returned to his dorm reeking strongly of, “a patchouli-infused stench.” The Boulder Fire Department immediately deployed its Hazmat Response Team, suspecting a nearby drug lab–to find McMillian doing a Hot Yoga session in his room.
Fire Marshall Hoses Down Hippie to Prevent Second Hand Highs Read More »
Chaos erupted on the ASU campus Monday evening following news of a missing student over allegations of fraternizing with a University of Arizona student.
BOULDER, Colo. (TN) – Look, guys—welcome to college, where your love life is basically a minefield that’s going to take some finesse to navigate. Chasing someone a little older? Don’t sweat it. At The Nut, we have your back. Here are ten telltale signs she’s about to have you scrambling for your pants while you swan-dive out the bedroom window.
Sigma Phi Epsilon’s 10 Ways to Tell if She’s Married Read More »
The Drew administration urges students to contact the Madison authorities should they encounter a horde of lady beetles, so they can send the proper experts to deal with it.
Copy of Students Prepare for the Upcoming Winter Lady Bug Apocalypse Read More »
As the high of fall break sizzles out, students return to campus with higher hopes and in good spirits. Coming back at the peak of midterm season, all students want to do is lock in.
However, Drew Facilities had a better idea.
Drew Students Gladiator Battle Over the Only Laundry Machine on Campus Read More »
Kennesaw, GA. – As midterms begin, KSU junior Anna Way is suggesting a way to help struggling students like her, “Academic helpers.”
Junior Students Pitch “Academic Helpers” for Students: Later, Finds out Advisors Exist Read More »
In recent months the concept of the performative male has been bursting in popularity. I thought it was silly, laughable that even men have to pretend to be into Clairo, read feminist literature, and drink matcha, I already do these things. I thought this, like many memes, would be a mere fad. That was until a Co-op put on a Performative Male Competition on MAC Avenue.
Opinion: Why I Should Have Won the Performative Male Competition Read More »
Back in March, with the 140th anniversary of the College coming up, our professional street interviewer team (not to be confused with our Ragebait TikTok street interviewer team) asked several students around the site of Old Main about what the building meant to them. This exercise likely just raised even more questions about how clueless each of the interviewees was
“Why should they, those low-life, car-driving, money saving stains on humanity, be treated equal to us, who pay lavish fees for the complete college experience”, says one concerned dormer.
ASU Establishes The “ASU Commuters Force” to Terrorize Commuters Read More »
After spending upwards of $10,000 on an impressive new Chromebook, sophomore student Stephen Jockey now possesses a machine strong enough to keep up with the ever-increasing pace of his oppressive college workload.
Student’s Chromebook Running Minecraft With RTX Mods Bursts Into Flames Read More »
