In a shocking turn of events, Drew University students have been disappearing from Tolley Hall at an alarming rate. A band of militant squirrels has been behind the abductions, fed up with the students’ disregard for their woodland haven.
On one recent morning, students awoke to a strange chill in the air. It was not just the winter air settling in; there was an ominous wind blowing. Those who felt it tried valiantly to ignore it, but when they reached Commons, they realized that calamity had struck.
Our campus is famous for its beautiful scenery, and its photogenic nature, making Admissions’ job so much easier by enticing new students to enter its idyllic paths. However, this may be a case of too much of a good thing, for now, there are photography students taking photos absolutely everywhere on campus in order to be the ones to take the Perfect Shot.
That’s right, you read correctly, Yik Yak is back and cooler than ever! A handful of dedicated students have been working hard to revive Drew’s Yik Yak, and it is paying off. Finally, there is a platform where only students of Drew can anonymously share their honest opinions of life on campus, and where definitely
Drew Admin Uses Yik Yak as a Psyop to Convince Students That The Campus is Cool Read More »
Drew University has replaced campus security with the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. What at first seemed like a decision that made campus life more fun and nostalgic ended up becoming a never-ending nightmare for students.The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers have been out of work for a long time getting replaced by much cooler and younger
Drew Has Replaced Campus Security With The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Read More »
It’s that time of the year again! Camping outside of stores, like Best Buy, Apple, Target, and even Walmart. Waiting to see those juicy deals. Buy 1 get 2 free, half off for an air fryer, stuff you can’t miss out on.Everyone is waiting for stores to drop their sales and open their doors. Students noticed
University Bookstores are Giving 1% off Textbooks for Black Friday Sales Read More »
Nobody likes knowing that their rooms will be inspected by Residential staff during break, but this year, in an effort to make sure students realize what they’re leaving out, Pro Staff has announced that they will be posting the Top 10 Weirdest things students have in their rooms. Spokesperson for RHA, Kelly Grambler, tells
Drew Pro Staff Using Thanksgiving Break To Expose Students’ Weird Possessions Read More »
Hearing your alarm blaring at 8 a.m, struggling to get out of your comfy bed and making it to class on time is hard enough. Your body feels so heavy, sunken into your comforter, just five more minutes. Until you realize you have to outrun them. The armada of tiktokers. They’ve invaded the campus. You
Student is Constantly Late to Class Because He Has to Participate in Tik Toks Read More »
Bingo is one of the favored pastimes of Americans all over the country, including right here in our Forest. However, there has been a recent alert that the US is facing a national bingo card crisis, and investigations into the matter have revealed that the most likely cause has been none other than Drew University
Drew Starts Cutting Down Trees To Make More Bingo Cards Read More »
It’s that time of year, when the leaves change color and turn our forest into a picturesque orange rainbow perfect for promotional pictures. But there’s one drawback to this lovely time of year. Once the leaves fall, Drew releases an army of highly trained facilities staff whose one mission is to find and destroy every
Drew Facilities Won’t Stop Until They Blowing Away Every Last Leaf Read More »
