This week at Drew, beloved Drew Mascot, Ranger Bear, was caught on a Coldplay concert’s Jumbotron in a loving embrace with Drew’s Head of HR, Madison Benson. This confirmed to the campus that Ranger Bear and Benson were, in fact, cheating on their significant others. The two were quickly recognized by Drew students and faculty, causing the image to be shared on campus 17,000 times. Coincidentally, they were featured on the Jumbotron Kiss-Cam immediately after Ex Astronomer CEO and Kristen Cabot. Ranger Bear has been in a very public relationship with Taylor Swift for the last two years, and Benson is married to Drew alumni Henry Kraft. Swift has so far not commented on this, while Kraft went on the record saying, “I’m having a difficult time processing that my wife cheated on me with a Bear Mascot.” When asked if he had any plans to resign from his position at Drew, Ranger Bear replied,
“ROOAARRRR!”
Many Drew students have signed a petition demanding the firing of Ranger Bear on the basis of not having a cheater as their official mascot. “This is disgusting! I didn’t watch them reboot Ranger Bear just to turn him into someone who doesn’t understand loyalty!” said Drew Senior, Ben Forman. “The silver lining here is that the next Taylor Swift album is going to be wild!”
