In a battle no driver asked for, AIMSParking and Parkmobile have decided to wage a war that shall burn everyone but themselves. Each app has, for quite some time, decided that UIs can get worse. Prices can become more unreasonable as a battle of wits ensues, especially in the lead-up to a fresh batch of money-making students descending on the scene, most sporting exotic and sought-after cars, causing a war of attrition to break out between the big dogs of ASU’s parking scene.
AIMSParking stans argue that the website in particular “makes you feel like navigating through the pre-2000s Internet Explorer homepage” while Parkmobile’s pookies vehemently discredit the stans by saying stuff like “Our fees are so high, the war duties placed on Germany after WW1 feel like pennies”. Even as the interfaces create unbridled frustration amongst the collegiate masses, a separate skirmish has been going on for pricing, with each organization bidding for a newer, more useless surcharge. “Thank god I got a discount so I don’t have to pay the ‘Granny’s second set of serving spoons’ fee,” exclaimed an obviously relieved student. “I only have to pay the crippling $18,000 tuition and my dorm and meals fee.”
Both AIMSParking and Parkmobile have decided to add another set of surcharges to their already sky-high parking costs following the increase in users, which some students have described as “premium thuggery”. “But hey”, says one college frat boy, “At least I can drive the 0.4mi to Mill Ave to, uh, study with my other frat boys at the sports bar and not have to walk a mile back to my car for, uh, water bottles. I only have to walk half a mile.” Now that last line is probably not a reliable source as the young man was higher than Kanye on his performance of On Sight.
