Every year on the 4th of July, Americans across the country celebrate the way God truly intended, by watching Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Every time all eyes are on one man. No one has captured the hearts of Americans quite like the 16-time champion, Joey Chestnut.
Often referred to as the Throat Goat or the Glizzy Gobbler, Chestnut is banned from this year’s contest due to his sponsorship with Impossible Foods. July 4th is just not the same without having Chestnut shove hot dogs down his gullet. That’s why Americans across the country are leaving out hotdogs and a glass of water on their porch on July 4th eve hoping that Chestnut may pay them a visit. And if you have a full belly then he might just leave behind some freedom, liberty, and justice for all.
Kids have also started to sing a new song for the Holiday.
You better start grilling,
You better buy buns,
Better not burn em,
I’m telling you why:
Joey Chestnut is comin’ to town.
He’s finishing his plate
And going for seconds,
Gonna find out
Who’s hungry or full.
Joey Chestnut is comin’ to town.
He sees you when you’re eatin’,
He knows if you’ve thrown up,
he knows if you’ve been hungry or full,
So be full for fullness sake.
You better finish your food,
You better not barf,
Better not throw up,
I’m telling you why:
Joey Chestnut is comin’ to town.
