Kennesaw State University

KSU Adopts Sentient Buses That Leave Right When Students Are About to Get to the Bus

Kennesaw State University will be unveiling new smart buses next week. The improved buses will use thermal technology to detect students. Essentially, the smart buses are sentient enough that they are capable of tracking students’ locations. However, the buses will have a countdown system for how long students have to get on before the bus leaves.

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Professor Puts in a Fake Zero While Finishing to Grade Midterm Essays as an ‘April Fools Prank’

Holiday, Professor / Kennesaw State University

Last week, students of an anonymous professor were greeted with a zero on their midterm history essay.

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Male Student Exceeded His Personal Quota and Made One Friend This Semester

Student / Kennesaw State University

The male loneliness epidemic has one less victim. KSU Junior, Max Griffen, managed to beat the odds as he secured a second hangout with “a dude from my PolSci class, think his name is Brandon.”

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Campus Art Museum to Be Converted Into Parking Lot

Campus, Editors Pick / Kennesaw State University

Taking inspiration from Timothée Chalamet’s comments on the apparent lack of interest in ballet and opera, Kennesaw State University has decided to tear down the Zuckerman Art Museum to make way for a brand new parking lot.

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KSU Adds New Mascot to Honor Punch the Monkey

Campus / Kennesaw State University

Kennesaw State University will be introducing a new mascot, a macaque monkey, to honor Punch. A change that will benefit students who are so socially incompetent that they hide their faces behind plush toys.

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Student injuries at ice rinks rise since Alyssa Liu’s olympics

Campus, National / Kennesaw State University

After the Gold Medalist, Alyssa Liu, captured the hearts of Americans with her performance at the Winter Olympics, and her alternative style. Typical of Americans, many are trying to recapture that with the assumption they can skate as Ice Rink attendants rise.

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Students Fall Victim to Spam EMail Selling Their Soul for a Paid Internship

Campus / Kennesaw State University

An internship opportunity straight from Hell does not sound heavenly, but at least they are hiring, and interns make it out alive.

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A.I Surveillance by KSU Reminds Students of the Wikipedia Summary of “1984” by Greorge Orwell

Campus, Editors Pick, Student / Kennesaw State University

Throughout the KSU Campus, students have spoken about privacy concerns over the new A. I use surveillance to monitor the campus. Worries over illegal recording, access to citizens’ personal information, and the fact that a third-party company is ahead on this. It’s what one student calls “Orson-Wellian,” when interviewed by The Nut. When asked if he meant “Orwellian,” his response was,

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Activist Taking Social Media Hiatus Didn’t Hear About Class Walkout

Student / Kennesaw State University

As they were in the middle of a group discussion for a class, the walkout began. When they finally figured out what was occurring, class was over, and they had nothing to actually walk out of.

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