Kennesaw State University

Professor Claims That All Professors Should Exclusively Use Their Paywalled Published Work in Their Curriculum

Kennesaw, GA. – On September 26th, tenured KSU English professor Chase Gold went on his X account with his outlook on assigning readings for his classes. Professors should just insert all the works they will cover in one book with all their notes, annotations, and publish it as a book. Streamlined Teaching, essentially, as he put it, for the price of 105 USD.

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Computer Majors Shocked to Hear Water’s Other Uses Beside Processing Chat GPT

Sheply went further and further into his research as he typed in prompts into ChatGPT, asking about it. “Apparently, water is a major component in Red Bull, sodas, baking, and stuff. I’m actually 70% water, and I need that to live too. I totally forgot that!” Sheply then was curious about water by itself and actually drank it. He then washed it down with Root Beer.

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Classes to Feature Trailers for Courses Offered Next Semester

Kennesaw, GA. – As parking struggles continue to affect students and professors alike, Kennesaw administration attempts to ensure students experience what KSU has to offer. After two weeks of major public urging, they have a solution. What is it? Borrowing from the movie business, “pre-shows” to make Pre-Classes. To get students to class early and on time.
If you are not familiar with the term, preshows are the previews and advertisements shown between the listed showtime for a movie and the actual film. “That’s how it’ll essentially work, we have the time that is posted for the class but we will require the professor to show 15 minutes of selected ads for potential courses and university benefits,” says KSU administrator Jack Aselles.
When asked what if the professor is not there to show previews or why not just deal with parking itself, Aselles mentions how there will be a scavenger hunt in one of the previews where you can win a $100 gift card to a campus Chick-fil-A. KSU will launch a new production company to create these previews and will dedicate $150,000 to start it up. The studio building is now being surveyed on the Kennesaw campus. For now, they will show messages from Amazon Warehouse and Walmart’s marketing to students during this.

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