Michigan State

49 Students Found Suntanning in Snow Outside Brody Hall, Refuse to Believe Warm Weather Has Ended

To celebrate the sunshine, 50 students collectively decided to meet up outside Brody Hall to enjoy the balmy weather. However, they forgot to check the forecast for the day. When they arrived at Brody there was no sunshine to be found and were instead greeted by a blizzard. In spite of this, 49 out of the 50 decided to stay and sunbathe.

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Why You Should Date a Sophomore Digital Storytelling Major With a Creative Writing Minor Who Enjoys Recreational Ultimate Frisbee, Is Basically 6 Feet Tall, and Frequently Plays Pokémon Legends: Arceus (but Not Legends: Z-a)

It’s common knowledge that Valentine’s Day was created to torture single people. Though cruel and unusual punishment is made illegal by the Bill of Rights, Valentine’s Day nonetheless continues to exist.

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Opinion: Why I Should Have Won the Performative Male Competition

In recent months the concept of the performative male has been bursting in popularity. I thought it was silly, laughable that even men have to pretend to be into Clairo, read feminist literature, and drink matcha, I already do these things. I thought this, like many memes, would be a mere fad. That was until a Co-op put on a Performative Male Competition on MAC Avenue.

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Professor Retires After Naive Students Fall for Price-Gouging Textbook Scam

Students in Dr. Edward Nirvanaberg’s Buddhist Art History 201 class were shocked to find out on Tuesday that their “favorite” professor would be retiring two weeks into the semester. Walking into their 10:00 A.M. class, Students found a chalkboard message that simply said: “I’M FREE Y’ALL! THANKS FOR BUYING THAT STUPID BOOK, I’LL BE MEDITATING ON CARNIVAL CRUISE TILL I GET REINCARNATED, SUCKERS!” next to a poorly drawn image of the tree of life flipping them the bird.

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