“I’ve always liked UFC and thought it was missing at Michigan State,” said Green. “I figured starting a club was the best way to bring it to the masses. But all of our audience members just care about stupid things like laundry and putting a shirt on and not using the washing machines as punching bags.”
MSUUFC club is fighting anywhere they can to get noticed Read More »
To celebrate the sunshine, 50 students collectively decided to meet up outside Brody Hall to enjoy the balmy weather. However, they forgot to check the forecast for the day. When they arrived at Brody there was no sunshine to be found and were instead greeted by a blizzard. In spite of this, 49 out of the 50 decided to stay and sunbathe.
It’s common knowledge that Valentine’s Day was created to torture single people. Though cruel and unusual punishment is made illegal by the Bill of Rights, Valentine’s Day nonetheless continues to exist.
“We realized,”said Rose Mclovin, head of MSU Department of Student Wellness, “that not many people have historically accurate medieval armor lying around. Which poses a problem for student health and safety.”
MSU Recommends Students Wear Full Suits of Armor to Protect Against Exploding Trees Read More »
“No, you don’t understand. I want my food COMPED.” The words echoed throughout The Edge at Akers. Onlookers reported being shocked and mildly scandalized to see a student screaming at a worker at Tandoori.
Food Reviewer Kicked Out of The Edge For Throwing a Tantrum Read More »
Professor Lionel Smith has been using ChatGPT for the past year, and the students are starting to notice.
“I just asked Professor Smith about the syllabus, but he pulled out his phone and asked ChatGPT the same question,” said Freshman Mark Leyton. “Like, didn’t he write it? Why is he asking ChatGPT?”
Professor Uses Chat-GPT to Answer Students’ Questions Read More »
You’re a free spirit above all else. Being unique is a virtue you don’t take lightly, and although some might not understand it, it’s what you do best. The haters might say “you’re 40, it’s time to move on and stop dying your beard green,” but they don’t know that age is just a number, you’re definitely not too old for this.
In recent months the concept of the performative male has been bursting in popularity. I thought it was silly, laughable that even men have to pretend to be into Clairo, read feminist literature, and drink matcha, I already do these things. I thought this, like many memes, would be a mere fad. That was until a Co-op put on a Performative Male Competition on MAC Avenue.
Opinion: Why I Should Have Won the Performative Male Competition Read More »
Students in Dr. Edward Nirvanaberg’s Buddhist Art History 201 class were shocked to find out on Tuesday that their “favorite” professor would be retiring two weeks into the semester. Walking into their 10:00 A.M. class, Students found a chalkboard message that simply said: “I’M FREE Y’ALL! THANKS FOR BUYING THAT STUPID BOOK, I’LL BE MEDITATING ON CARNIVAL CRUISE TILL I GET REINCARNATED, SUCKERS!” next to a poorly drawn image of the tree of life flipping them the bird.
Professor Retires After Naive Students Fall for Price-Gouging Textbook Scam Read More »
MSU Claims Historic Victory Over Mental Health Diagnoses
MSU Announces “Mental Health Crisis” Officially Over, Dropping by 97% Read More »
