In a recent turn of events which has sent shockwaves through the hallowed paths of Drew University, jolly old Saint Nick himself has suddenly declared all-out war on the school administration. The catalyst for this sudden conflict? A midnight incident at the EC which landed Santa Claus in hot water with security.
The annual McClintock Hall Friendsgiving took an unexpected turn this year when every single attendee arrived with the same dish: instant mashed potatoes. What should have been a heartwarming evening of shared gratitude quickly descended into carbohydrate chaos.
Dorm Room Friendsgiving Pot Luck Ruined as Everyone Brings Instant Mashed Potatoes Read More »
In a shocking display, Drew has announced a radical overhaul of its parking permit system to replace the current structure after the sale of the commuter lot to Madison. As of now, all commuter students must prove their worthiness to park their vehicle at Drew in a series of high-stakes swordfights.
Commuter Students Must Now Earn Parking Passes Through Trial by Combat Read More »
A shocking new report released by Drew University’s Office of Student Resilience confirms what we all suspected: 99% of students are simply “getting through it” this midterm season, clinging to survival like a stale Commons bagel.
New Report Says 99% of Students Are Just Barely Getting Through Midterms Read More »
In a groundbreaking deal, Drew University has signed an official partnership with the Free and United Forest Squirrel Republic (F.U.F.S.R.), the newly formed squirrel government in The Forest. Under this historic arrangement, students, faculty, and staff are now required to carry “Acorn Passes” to ensure safe passage through F.U.F.S.R.-controlled zones.
The almighty Zeus has taken a grave matter into his hands and is now pouring down a torrent of meteorological chaos upon Drew University. The cause for such celestial wrath? A simple, innocuous act of human negligence – the incessant blare of campus leaf blowers.
Drew University officials announced today that the Wi-Fi network within the library has become fully sentient. The once-reliable connection, known affectionately as “Drew1x,” has evolved into an unpredictable, mischievous entity
Drew Wifi Gains Sentience, Now Actively Dodging Students Connections Read More »
In a bold and unexpected move, the squirrel population of Drew University’s Forest has officially declared independence, establishing themselves as the Free and United Forest Squirrel Republic (F.U.F.S.R.).
Drew Squirrels Declare Independance From Drew University Read More »
In a dramatic turn of events that would make Alexander Hamilton blush, a routine Student Government Senate meeting suddenly descended into absolute chaos Wednesday night. The catalyst for this extraordinary spectacle? A seemingly innocuous proposal for a mandatory early-morning DSEM class in Tolley-Brown Circle.
Student Senate Meeting Turns Into Duel Over Proposal for Early Morning Dsem Read More »
In a shocking turn of events that has left students, faculty, and the local community quaking in their Ranger Bear costumes, the prestigious Dorothy Young Center for the Arts at Drew University has been completely transformed into a Spirit Halloween store.
DoYo Becomes Spirit Halloween Since No One Was Really Using it Anyways Read More »
