In a shocking turn of events that has left students, faculty, and the local community quaking in their Ranger Bear costumes, the prestigious Dorothy Young Center for the Arts at Drew University has been completely transformed into a Spirit Halloween store. The former hub of culture and creativity has been overrun by ghouls, skeletons, and other ghastly creatures. However, students are objecting to this sudden transformation on the grounds that staff decorating skills leave, well, a lot to be desired.
University administrators have defended the decision, claiming that the seasonal pop-up shop is a unique opportunity to bring some much-needed excitement to campus. However, many students are expressing their dismay, arguing that the temporary transformation is a slap in the face to the Halloween skills of students.
Theatre student Vason Joorhees complained, “It’s just wrong to fill this place with cheap plastic skeletons and fake spider webs. It’s like something out of a horror movie — if you’re gonna try and decorate, make it actually scary!”
The transformation has been so complete that it’s almost unrecognizable. The once-grand theatre, where countless performances have taken place, is now filled with plastic skeletons and spooky props. Even the music studios have been invaded by the spirit of All Hallows’ Eve — cellist Violins McGee commented that “I was practicing late last night with one of those damned cackling witch machines for a pianist — it’s just too much!”
The decision to turn the DoYo into a Spirit Halloween store has sparked a heated debate on campus. Some students argue that the university is simply trying to make a quick buck, while others believe that the pop-up shop is a harmless way to add some excitement to campus life.
In addition to the student protests, several local Satanic organizations have also expressed their disapproval of the decorations, arguing that the center’s transformation is a betrayal of the University’s large and diverse demonic spirit community. “T҉H҉E҉ ҉E҉N҉D҉ ҉O҉F҉ ҉D҉A҉Y҉S҉ ҉I҉S҉ ҉N҉E҉A҉R҉ ҉P҉R҉E҉P҉A҉R҉E҉ ҉F҉O҉R҉ ҉T҉H҉E҉ ҉A҉P҉O҉C҉A҉L҉Y҉P҉S҉E҉ ҉W҉E҉ ҉S҉H҉A҉L҉L҉ ҉H҉A҉V҉E҉ ҉Y҉O҉U҉R҉ ҉S҉O҉U҉L҉?!?!” demanded a frustrated Hoyt ghost.
The university has responded to the criticism by insisting that the Spirit Halloween store is a temporary measure and that the center will be restored to its former glory once the Halloween season is over. However, many students and community members remain skeptical. They fear that the transformation may be a harbinger of more cringiness to come.
As the Halloween season draws to a close, the fate of the DoYo remains uncertain. Will the university be able to restore the center to its former glory, or will it be lost forever to the forces of commercialization? Only time will tell.
