Drew University has replaced campus security with the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. What at first seemed like a decision that made campus life more fun and nostalgic ended up becoming a never-ending nightmare for students.
The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers have been out of work for a long time getting replaced by much cooler and younger rangers who were ninjas or wizards or police officers and could even time travel. Drew realized that they could hire the original Power Rangers for a lot cheaper than what they were paying for their current campus security.
At first, it was pretty cool that they would do random backflips and stuff while they made sure everyone was safe, but it quickly escalated into something far worse. The Power Rangers started to break up parties that were getting too noisy. “I was in the middle of doing a keg stand when the Power Rangers cut down the door with a really big sword. That’s like rule #1 about parties, man. You don’t cut down the front door with a giant sword, any other door is fair game though.” Senior RJ Johnson told The Nut.
“I was running out of meal swipes so my friend let me sneak in through the back door at commons and then all of a sudden a blue triceratops broke through the wall to stop us.” Nick Shore and Steven James who were involved in the incident are still in health services recovering.
Along with the excessive use of force on students are the giant aliens they fight every couple of minutes. Students are really struggling to learn in their classes when a Megazord is fighting a giant lizard thing. Multiple cars and buildings have been destroyed thanks to the Power Rangers’ Megazord “saving” the campus. This has resulted in students spray painting APRAB or “All Power Rangers Are Bastards” on the side of their Zords.
It does not seem like Drew wants to revert back to their old security services any time soon. Students will be in for a rough final stretch of the semester.
The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers have been out of work for a long time getting replaced by much cooler and younger rangers who were ninjas or wizards or police officers and could even time travel. Drew realized that they could hire the original Power Rangers for a lot cheaper than what they were paying for their current campus security.
At first, it was pretty cool that they would do random backflips and stuff while they made sure everyone was safe, but it quickly escalated into something far worse. The Power Rangers started to break up parties that were getting too noisy. “I was in the middle of doing a keg stand when the Power Rangers cut down the door with a really big sword. That’s like rule #1 about parties, man. You don’t cut down the front door with a giant sword, any other door is fair game though.” Senior RJ Johnson told The Nut.
“I was running out of meal swipes so my friend let me sneak in through the back door at commons and then all of a sudden a blue triceratops broke through the wall to stop us.” Nick Shore and Steven James who were involved in the incident are still in health services recovering.
Along with the excessive use of force on students are the giant aliens they fight every couple of minutes. Students are really struggling to learn in their classes when a Megazord is fighting a giant lizard thing. Multiple cars and buildings have been destroyed thanks to the Power Rangers’ Megazord “saving” the campus. This has resulted in students spray painting APRAB or “All Power Rangers Are Bastards” on the side of their Zords.
It does not seem like Drew wants to revert back to their old security services any time soon. Students will be in for a rough final stretch of the semester.
