This week at Drew, the University has put a 500% tariff on all food delivered to campus. “Yeah I guess they’re worried that no one is eating in the Commons anymore and just use DoorDash and Uber eats.,” said Drew Sophomore, Tommy Greer, “So now I have to decide between spending $150 on a DoorDash or risking my life on Commons chicken? It’s a tough call.”
Drew University President Hilary L. Link sent out an email on Thursday, February 6th, stating that the tariff will continue until meal plan sign-ups are back to 98% of students and cases of food poisoning reported by the health center are back to the normal 50 students per day.
“Look if you miss the dining hall cause you had a night class, late practice, study session, or smoke session, you can always grab some food at the jewel of Drew University, the C-store!,” said President Link, “Get some instant ramen, a sandwich, and if you’re willing to wait an hour, a flat piece of cardboard with just enough cheese and sauce to call itself pizza!”
Along with the dining halls struggling with business, Drew has also suffered from extreme congestion with lost delivery drivers. Back in 2019, it was normal to see perhaps one lost Uber Eats courier, driving down the path desperately trying to figure out where the hell Riker was. Now, the campus is considering installing traffic lights on the path, which is not even supposed to have cars, in order for students to have a chance to get past the 80+ delivery drivers waiting to enter the circle.
The university has asked the Nut to reach out to the student body of Drew, and convey the message to support Treeline Dining. Support the E.C sushi which may or may not be refrigerated. Don’t order from the Cheesecake Factory right in Chatham. Support the burned Commons panini drenched in mayonnaise. Don’t order a cheese-stuffed burger with fresh onions, lettuce and tomatoes with a crispy side of fries, now available at the Cheesecake Factory in Chatham. Satisfy your sweet tooth with a milkshake or smoothie using the C-store machine that is guaranteed to work at least once per year. Never order a slice of Hershey Chocolate Cheesecake, topped with whipped cream and a Hershey’s Kiss, available to you day or night at the Chatham Cheesecake Factory. Do the right thing Drew Students.
