Drew University’s LAUNCH program has just announced an innovative new workshop designed to tackle one of the most difficult challenges facing students today: answering the question, “So, what’s your major?” without spiraling into existential dread.
The workshop, titled “Surviving Small Talk: How to Answer ‘What’s Your Major?’ Without Triggering a Quarter-Life Crisis,” was developed after university administrators noticed an alarming trend. Whether in the Commons, on the Path of Exile, or at family gatherings, students often faltered when confronted with the dreaded question. Common responses ranged from vague mumbles to complete breakdowns, with many students retreating into long-winded explanations about “interdisciplinary passions” and “still exploring options,” followed by silent tears into their Commons coffee. “We realized something needed to be done after witnessing students burst into tears at the very mention of their major,” said LAUNCH coordinator Karen Elson. “We knew we had to offer a program that helps students cope with the pressures of defining their future before they’ve even figured out how to use the washing machines in Tolley.”
The workshop, which promises practical strategies to handle these awkward conversations, will cover everything from how to give vague but impressive answers, to deflection techniques for when the conversation gets too real. Students will be trained to respond with statements like, “It’s a bit of a cross-disciplinary approach” or “I’m combining several fields in a way that reflects my personal growth.” According to Elson, these responses are specifically designed to sound impressive while revealing absolutely nothing.
“We wanted to give students tools they can use at Thanksgiving dinner or when they run into old high school friends at Starbucks,” Elson added. “It’s all about giving them the confidence to say something that sounds intelligent, without actually committing to any particular life path.” Junior psychology major Jennifer B., who has been considering switching to art history, or maybe environmental studies (“I haven’t decided yet”), was one of the first to sign up. “Before this workshop, anytime someone asked me about my major, I’d just freeze. I’d start sweating, then I’d try to explain, and next thing I knew, I was breaking down into a quarter life crisis,” she said. “Now I feel way more prepared. I can just say something like, ‘I’m still exploring my interests, but it’s been an enriching journey,’ and people leave me alone.”
Perhaps the most emotionally charged part of the course deals with the very real possibility that, despite all preparation, some students might still find themselves on the verge of tears. LAUNCH has incorporated breathing exercises and other coping mechanisms for these moments. In extreme cases, therapy dogs will be available for emergencies, and students will have access to calming videos of baby sloths hugging stuffed animals.“I was really struggling,” said senior history major-turned-neuroscience minor Max D. “I just couldn’t handle it anymore. My aunt asked me about my major at every single family function. It was brutal. Thanks to this workshop, I’ve learned that it’s okay to take a deep breath and tell people, ‘I’m figuring it out, and that’s part of my academic journey.’ It works—most of the time.”
Given the overwhelming response to the program, LAUNCH is already planning several follow-up workshops, including sessions on how to explain to your parents why an unpaid internship is a real job and how to avoid your high school teachers in the grocery store without it being awkward. But for now, the focus remains on helping students survive the most terrifying of college questions without collapsing into a puddle of self-doubt. “By the time we’re done, students will not only know how to answer the question, they’ll feel empowered while doing it,”
Elson said. “They might even be able to get through the entire conversation without tearing up. That’s the dream.”
