EAST LANSING, MI – The meaning of life has been pondered for thousands of years, but thankfully to one special college student at Michigan State University, we finally have the answer.
A 17-year-old freshman by the name of Theo (just Theo), has solved the age-old question: fuck around and find out. It’s that simple. It’s been in front of our eyes the whole time.
The class’ professor has canceled the course for the remainder of the semester.
“I mean, why didn’t I think of that? It’s so obvious. It’s crazy to think that for two thousand years the brightest geniuses to ever grace this planet have never come close to the answer, but it ends up being my very student at a 200-level course in East Lansing, Michigan who solves the puzzle.”
Theo has remained quite humble about the discovery. “I am no greater than any of my peers. It is not their fault. The system we deem society has driven these complex notions into their feeble minds and forced them to overlook what is a miraculously simple answer. We must all fuck around and find out. Do not overcomplicate it. Men walked this earth for thousands of years doing nothing but running around half-naked spearing wild pigs. Life is more simple than we make it.”
With the remainder of the course being canceled, what would be done with grades became a central question. The professor heeded Theo’s advice.
“Everyone in the class gets an A. Except Devin. Devin fails. Why? Because fuck Devin, that’s why. There’s the true meaning of life: fuck Devin.”
