“I’m Lonely” is what the president of Arizona State University, Dr. Michael Crow, said in a short video he uploaded to his TikTok account last Saturday at 2:45 a.m just before he graciously invited all 183,061 students to his house for a Thanksgiving dinner cooked by his wife.
His Wife, Dr. Sybil Francis, had this to say when asked about her husband’s public invitation, “I haven’t cooked since Michael started giving out humanities credits to foreign exchange students that would cook for us… they do our laundry too”. Dr. Crow insisted that the invitation is still open in another video responding to his wife’s comments where he stated, “She hasn’t given me any nookie since then either. It’s probably because of the new guy, Vladimir”.
This will surely be a Thanksgiving to remember as over 25,000 students have RSVPed ‘yes’ and more are expected to do so. Students have begun posting what they’re bringing to Dr. Crow’s house on an anonymous social media app called Yik Yak. Hookers, snakes, and cocaine are all in play for what is gearing up to be Project X: Thanksgiving edition.
