In a recent turn of events which has sent shockwaves through the hallowed paths of Drew University, jolly old Saint Nick himself has suddenly declared all-out war on the school administration. The catalyst for this sudden conflict? A midnight incident at the EC which landed Santa Claus in hot water with security.
During his regular pre-Christmas recon mission, Santa attempted a traditional chimney entry at the Ehinger Center. However, his festive foray was met with some not-so-jolly resistance from Campus Safety. A heated exchange ensued, involving a misplaced candy cane and a hastily-summoned golf cart. The result? A formal conduct warning for the chief elf himself.
“I’ve been delivering gifts for countless millennia,” he grumbled when asked for comment, “and not once have I ever faced such pointless scrutiny. It’s a ho-ho-holy scandal, I tell you!”
The university’s response to the incident has been muted, but sources within the North Pole suggest that Santa’s punishment for Admin may be far more severe than just a coal-filled stocking. Some predict that the recent cold and wind snap ravaging campus could actually be no coincidence, while others believe that Saint Nick may curse the school with perpetual bad scores for finals season.
The incident has also sparked a heated debate on campus, with students divided over the severity of Santa’s punishment. “It’s a bit of a shock, really,” admitted an anonymous senior, requesting not to be named to avoid potential retaliation from the North Pole. “Security is usually pretty forgiving, but breaking into a building without proper authorization? That’s a no-no, even for the All-Forgiving Father Christmas.”
The incident has also raised questions about the university’s security protocols. Some have criticized the security team for their heavy-handed approach, while others have defended their actions as necessary to protect the campus community.
As the holiday season approaches, Drew finds itself in a precarious position. With Santa’s wrath looming ever closer, Administration can only hope for a last-minute miracle. But given their recent behaviour, it seems unlikely that Santa will be looking at them particularly kindly this winter.
Will Santa’s wrath continue to rain down upon Drew, or will President Link be able to appease the Chief Elf and finally restore festivities to campus? Stay tuned for further updates on this situation.
