“There was blood outside the doyo, so I thought maybe some red paint was dropped. So I kept walking, because screw it if I wasn’t gonna finish my lifesize drawing of a shoe for my drawing class. But when I went inside, I heard sounds. Singing.”
At this point we had to take a break with the student we were interviewing, because they needed a moment to hug their ranger bear plushie. Wiping tears from their eyes, they continued.
“I thought huh, the acapella groups must be on some weird shit this semester. But as I kept walking, the sounds kept getting louder. I didn’t want to do my assignment, so I went to see which soprano had a stick up their ass to sing that badly. I went into the theater, and everything was dark. One light in the center of the stage was on..and then..then..I saw him.”
At this point we asked who, and one of our assistants went to get our interviewee a yella’s milkshake. “I saw the shadow of his bunny ears, and then I saw him. The ranger bear labubu. He was floating in the air, surrounded by people in cloaks. They had weird symbols on the floor painted in blood.”
This interview revealed to all of us the dangers of labubus, and their true nature. We then went to ask what he remembered most from the experience. “I’ll never forget the song they were singing. They were…reciting the Yella’s milkshake menu.”
