It’s Monday morning and you just woke up at 8:10 am on the day of your 8:30 am lecture. With little time to get ready, you already know that you are going to be shuffling into class late with no coffee. Luckily, you are one of the few students smart enough to have purchased “Ranger […]
“I don’t have any friends to share my Disney Plus account with so why should other people get to?!,” said Disney CEO, Bob Iger. (Tune in next week for “The Nut gets sued by the Disney Corporation”) Iger went on to say that Disney Plus will end all account sharing by 2024. This is bad
Every year Drew Admissions hosts two Open Houses for prospective students and their families to come visit and experience what Drew has to offer. Of course, they can’t give guests the real experience if they want to entice them to come here, so for those two days that the campus is open, Admissions pulls out
Drew University Becomes Blissful Utopia for Upcoming Open House Read More »
It’s been a busy day running from class to class. One paper is due at midnight, and two tests tomorrow. Rapidly walking down the path, you think you might have 5 minutes for lunch. That’s when your phone rings with the persistence and intensity that could only indicate a Super Volcano erupting in the arboretum.
Drew University has always had a commitment to providing its students with the best dining experience, but they haven’t always known what students wanted. But now, thanks to a survey regarding dining at Drew and tireless research, they finally know what will truly satisfy the student body’s gastronomic desires and dietary restrictions: a waterslide.The University
Drew University Will Spend Money On Anything Except Improving the Food Read More »
Rumors have been swirling that Taylor Swift and Range Bear are dating. Those rumors have seemingly been confirmed as the singer was spotted sitting next to Mama Bear in Ranger Bear’s family suite. The rumors started after Taylor Swift had broken up with her long-time boyfriend Joe Alwyn and then rebounded with a small
Last week, the US military asked civilians to help them find a missing F-35 aircraft that they had lost track of. While you may have seen reports that say the jet was found, these have actually been circulated to hide the truth: the missing jet has been found by representatives of Drew University, who is
Drew University Finds Missing US Military Jet, Holds For Ransom Read More »
What if having a dream about Ryan Gosling wasn’t a good thing? Is that even possible? “Each night when I close my eyes, I see Ryan Gosling stare into my soul,” said a Drew student through tears, “ He whispers to me that I will never be Ken-enough.” This week, The Nut sat down with
Student Named Ken Matthews is Suffering From Ken-Pression For Not Having Enough Ken-Ergy Read More »
One of Drew University’s most charming features is “the Path,” the walkways that make getting from one place to another on campus so simple and easy. However, not everyone wants to stick to the official Path, instead creating “desire paths” that diverge from the normal routes for their own convenience. Unfortunately, Drew has begun cracking
Thursday morning seemed like any other on Drew’s campus. It was almost completely quiet except for the sounds of freshmen scurrying to their morning class while upperclassmen leisurely strolled behind them. However, the morning took a drastic turn when a power outage plunged the campus into total darkness. Well, not total darkness. It was 10:30
20 Minute Power Outage Turned Drew’s Campus into a “Mad Max-like Hellscape” Read More »
