Kennesaw State University will be introducing a new mascot, a macaque monkey, to honor Punch. A change that will benefit students who are so socially incompetent that they hide their faces behind plush toys.
A recent study conducted by anthropology upperclassmen has made waves in the broader CU community. The study, meant only to observe the human connection to the sun, reveals that intrinsically every 17-19-year-old feels a call to the sun.
New Study Finds That Freshmen Follow the Sun Like Cats Read More »
hidden among the megaphones and handmade signs, there exists a quieter demographic: students who genuinely could not tell you what is going on.
Student Who’s Always Clueless About The Protests Gets Put On The News Read More »
After the Gold Medalist, Alyssa Liu, captured the hearts of Americans with her performance at the Winter Olympics, and her alternative style. Typical of Americans, many are trying to recapture that with the assumption they can skate as Ice Rink attendants rise.
Student injuries at ice rinks rise since Alyssa Liu’s olympics Read More »
At first, everything appeared to be operating smoothly. The driverless buses obeyed all traffic laws, used their blinkers, and followed the routes correctly. With the exception of a few jaywalker injuries, the system seemed satisfactory.
GSU Launches New Self-Driving Bus System Powered by Waymo Read More »
In what campus officials are calling “the fourth time this month,” a fire alarm ripped through the peaceful slumber of students in a northern dorm at 3:39 AM – Monday morning, sources say. When the outside windchill temperature was an astonishing -10 degrees.
Fire Alarm Goes Off at 3 AM in Below-Zero Weather, Students Suspect Arson Was Popcorn Read More »
A Barnard student experienced what experts are calling “a catastrophic gastrointestinal event” late Tuesday night in a shared campus bathroom, marking yet another reminder that college dining halls remain a lawless environment.
Student Reaches Out To Parent With In-Depth Food Poisoning Analysis Read More »
An internship opportunity straight from Hell does not sound heavenly, but at least they are hiring, and interns make it out alive.
Students Fall Victim to Spam EMail Selling Their Soul for a Paid Internship Read More »
The final name that the board agreed on was a result of a compromise between various members of the school staff and executives. According to Benioff again: “A name like Jake Gonzalez Schmitt is just the thing we need to more adequately represent our current situation and more modern demographic shift. It sounds like the name of a possibly part-Hispanic white frat guy from Oro Valley, and I think that’s just too perfect an opportunity to help reinvent our great school.
The University of Arizona Is Planning on Changing Its Official Name to “Jake Schmitt” Read More »
The President of Georgia State University claims that the plan was developed with students in mind. When asked about the upcoming FIFA World Cup that Atlanta is hosting, he denied any association. “Student happiness is our number one priority,” he stated. The $80 Million project was expedited just months before the World Cup after years of static progress.
