Professor

Read the latest news about professors at your school and around the world!

Professor Retires After Naive Students Fall for Price-Gouging Textbook Scam

Students in Dr. Edward Nirvanaberg’s Buddhist Art History 201 class were shocked to find out on Tuesday that their “favorite” professor would be retiring two weeks into the semester. Walking into their 10:00 A.M. class, Students found a chalkboard message that simply said: “I’M FREE Y’ALL! THANKS FOR BUYING THAT STUPID BOOK, I’LL BE MEDITATING ON CARNIVAL CRUISE TILL I GET REINCARNATED, SUCKERS!” next to a poorly drawn image of the tree of life flipping them the bird.

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Due to Budget Cuts, Drew Starts Replacing Professors With ChatGPT

In a move that’s shaking the academic world (or at least the very quiet world of Drew University), all Drew professors are being replaced by an AI chat bot. That’s right—goodbye, actual humans with PhDs and personal vendettas against tardy students, and hello to a shiny, 24/7, emotionally-void chatbot that doesn’t care if you turn in your essay 11 days late, as long as you type it in Comic Sans.

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Drew University Now Offering Advanced ‘Ghosting’ Classes: Learn How to Avoid Your Ex Like a Pro

Drew University has officially announced its most awaited course offering: Advanced Ghosting Techniques 404. This course, designed for students wishing to learn the fine art of disappearing from social obligations and embarrassing circumstances, promises to take ghosting to the next level.

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Student Caught Trying to Bribe Their Professor to Get Off Waitlist For Class

In a shocking turn of events at Drew University, a desperate student on the waitlist for a popular class has resorted to extreme measures to secure a spot. The student, who we’ll call “Bargain Billy,” allegedly attempted to make an offer the professor couldn’t refuse. It all started innocently enough, with Bargain Billy approaching the

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