What if having a dream about Ryan Gosling wasn’t a good thing? Is that even possible? “Each night when I close my eyes, I see Ryan Gosling stare into my soul,” said a Drew student through tears, “ He whispers to me that I will never be Ken-enough.” This week, The Nut sat down with Drew’s very own Ken Matthews (A.K.A College Student Ken,) to help share his story of daily harassment on campus for nothing more than the fact that his name is Ken.
Barbie, the summer’s biggest blockbuster, hit theaters on July 21, 2023, with a box office of $1.418 billion. Ken, Portrayed by Ryan Gosling, gained a massive following for spreading the importance of Kenergy along with performing the instant classic, “I’m Just Ken.” (Written and Composed by Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt.)
August 28, 2023, the first day of classes begins at Drew University. Ken enters his first lecture just in time for attendance to be taken. Upon getting to Ken’s name on the roster, the Professor, Dr. Bary Juniper, lit up with excitement. “He immediately drew attention to me by asking if my job is “just beach,” which by the way, is just so unoriginal.” said Matthews, “Some of the class laughed, some of them started singing that cursed song, but most of them just seemed disappointed that I didn’t look or act like Ken.”
Unfortunately a clear oversight of this “Kenmania,” was what it would do to those out there named Ken. According to Ken Matthews, comments by those fond of the film included “You’re kind of dressed badly for a Ken”, “You really don’t have much Kenergy” and the much more aggressive and frequent “YOU’RE NOT KEN-ENOUGH! SING I’M JUST KEN RIGHT NOW!”
“The first thing I did was change my wardrobe.,” said Matthews, “I hoped that sleeveless tees with matching bandanas and elaborate fur coats would help get people off my back. When they still weren’t happy, I dyed my hair blonde, and… and when they still weren’t happy I learned the entire “I’m Just Ken” musical sequence.
So far, Matthews has been forced to perform the song in the Common’s, the C-Store, in various areas along the path, and even in his own dorm room when people randomly knock on his door. He went on to say that he “stopped keeping track somewhere after the 500th time,” and just wears his costume under pull-away clothes.
