Students all across campus report the absolutely ridiculous wintry conditions they have to travel to class in. Because of these freezing temperatures, the students tend to wear an absurd amount of clothing, so much so that they waddle like penguins.
Such waddling makes the students unbalanced and, therefore, no match for the strong, swirly, snow-ridden winds. The waddling students topple over several times on their treks to class.
Students and professors alike are baffled as to why the school doesn’t just go remote. Sources say it’s because, financially, the school wants money. If students want to survive these harsh conditions, they’ll need to get creative.
And many have. Students have been riding snowmobiles, snowboarding, iceskating, and even dog sledding to class. The huskies pulling their sleds run around campus while their owners are in class, playing with the students.
Students with no choice but to waddle will have a hard time avoiding the huskies. If the wind didn’t topple them over, a husky jumping on them would.
“They have too much energy!” complains one of the waddlers. “How can pulling a sled not tire them out? I have a theory that the reason they have so much energy is that huskies were genetically bred to be able to pull sleds for long periods of time.”
The student confirmed they are a wildlife biology major, so what they are saying about the rambunctious hunkies has credibility.
The school has been getting lots of complaints about the huskies, but more importantly, not going remote in the first place! We’ll have to see how the school responds, but for now, the students must endure this wintry chaos.
