April 28, 2026

Vail Owners say, “Literally No One Cares.”

Vanguard CEO, Salim Ramji, says, “You will own nothing, and you will be happy about it. We’re making great strides to reinvigorate indentured servitude at Vail Resorts, and we’re more than pleased with the results.”

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Professor Walter White Issues Apology for MSU Chemical Spill

Campus / Michigan State

Walter White, a chemistry professor at Michigan State who also teaches courses in Pharmacology and Toxicology, is revealed to have been the cause of the “unknown chemicals” inside Wells Hall on the first day of finals week.

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