In the final defense for her senior thesis, Barnard student Reese Hearth has ended her year-long research with “etc.” Initial witness reporting, however, claims to have observed Heart “stumbling over the conclusion of her thesis” and “awkwardly smiling we asked about further information.” In fact, Hearth’s senior advisor informed our sources that she was “not shocked Hearth ended her thesis so uninformed,” claiming “Hearth had been 1 month behind in her thesis deadlines.”
When in an interview with Hearth herself, she said: “Yea, so to be totally honest, I literally don’t even know what my thesis is about. And actually, halfway through my major, I realized I don’t have the first clue about medical anthropology…”
Though Hearth claimed her oblivious nature to be a symptom of “Senorities,” she also commented, “‘Etc’ , like, is that way to say you know more stuff then you actually say but don’t have the room to say. For my case, I just didn’t know anything.”
It seems, according to our inferences at The Nut, sometimes you gotta fake till you make it, even if faking it means utter oblivion.
