BOULDER, Colo. (TN) – The University of Colorado football team has officially swapped helmets for dice after becoming fully engrossed in Dungeons & Dragons. An obsessive wave no one saw coming on the 2025 bingo card.
The Buffs were spotted in the locker room Friday night, drawing battle maps instead of running drills. Two teammates ended up icing minor injuries after arguing with the Dungeon Master over a Nat 20 no hit. Arguing aside, the team insists that it’s brought them closer together.
“Honestly, I haven’t seen this much teamwork since we stormed the goblin caves,” said one lineman, proudly holding up a set of amethyst dice.
Head coach Deion Sanders, never one to be outdone, showed up to Saturday’s game robed in star-spangled velvet and wielding a staff carved from a retired goalpost. Witnesses report he cast Mage Armor on the defensive line and used Inspiration points to pass a persuasion check to motivate the offense.
Fans seemed divided. Some chanted “ROLL FOR INITIATIVE” from the stands, while others complained the new halftime show–an improvised dungeon crawl in Folsom Field–went on for four hours and ended with a cliffhanger.
The Buffs’ new strategy, however, backfired in their matchup against BYU on Sep. 27. A game riddled with chaos, including a time out where the team druid could interrogate a squirrel and pausing mid-drive to debate whether a sleet storm could be used as a legal defensive formation. BYU walked away the victor at 24–21.
When asked about the season’s outlook, Sanders merely adjusted his pointed hat and declared, “We’re not going for a bowl this year. We’re going for the Dragon’s Hoard, baby!”
