As the winter quickly creeps up on the Drew community, students have begun to make preparations for the annual Lady Beetle Apocalypse.
Students in McLendon are veterans of this event, as higher floors have proven to be the most habitable for the invasive lady beetles.
Many students have taken drastic measures to protect themselves and their dorms, such as boarding their windows with wooden planks and preparing Molotov cocktails in preparation for the worst-case scenario.
“I don’t know what the hell is happening, but I’ve heard terrible things about last year’s invasion, so I’m not taking any chances,” one freshman expressed.
Freshmen without upperclassmen friends are most at risk of falling victim to the skittering colonizers. They have no idea what war they’re about to enter.
“It’s pure carnage. In my sophomore year, I killed more than 300 of these little shits, and they just kept on coming,” one senior said.
The Drew administration urges students to contact the Madison authorities should they encounter a horde of lady beetles, so they can send the proper experts to deal with it.
As you prepare for the upcoming weeks, do not forget that the C-Store on campus is selling 10% off the $30 bug repellent. Be safe out there and board up!
