A groundbreaking study from Purdue University suggests that unemployment may be linked to higher stress levels. Released to the public yesterday, the peer-reviewed study from Purdue’s College of Science covers a controlled experiment that lasted over four months and cost nearly $11,000. Funding came from student tuition.
Purdue Study Finds That Unemployment May Lead to Increased Levels of Stress Read More »
In a long-overdue move, MSU has announced plans to officially hire squirrel ambassadors to promote the university after years of exploiting these adorable creatures’ unpaid labor.
In a revolutionary new program aimed at increasing student “immersion” (without the pesky expense of actual flights or cultural exchanges), Drew University has announced its latest initiative: Study Abroad in the Metaverse.
Drew Saves Money by Switching All Long Treks to the Meta Verse Read More »
Are you looking for a new streaming service? Are you comfortable waiving your right to sue if the door falls off during your flight? Then prepare for take-off into Boeing’s brand new platform, “Bo-stream”, available soon in the App Store!
“I was made aware that many people have become fearful of flying in our 747s.,” said Boeing’s new CEO, Kelly Ortberg, “Our streaming content was specifically selected to remind people that while air travel is very safe, sometimes planes just crash and it shouldn’t be held against Boeing.”
According to Ortberg, Bo-Stream will feature exclusively air travel-related films and shows such as Sully, Lost, Alive, Final Destination, Cast Away, Yellowjackets, and many more!
To encourage people to choose the 747 for their travel, Bo-Stream will be automatically connected to the 747’s wifi without additional fees. While connected, you will also get live updates on your flight’s eta and or how much longer the plane will be able to stay in the air.
Bo-stream can be accessed once you accept the moderate 7,567-page terms and conditions document. Accepting the app’s terms and conditions permanently prevents its users from being able to take legal action against Boeing for the rest of their lives. “This is a new era for Boeing!,” said Ortberg, “So next time you fly, open Bo-Stream, watch a movie, and don’t bother yourself with how many wings a plane should have.”
Boeing Announces New Streaming Service After Learning it Can Prevent Lawsuits Read More »
You graduated months ago and you have been applying for jobs every day with little to no luck. Some jobs are asking for 5 years of experience minimum for an entry-level job.
In a developing story out of Atlanta, Georgia. 78-year-old Donald Trump faced off against 81-year-old President Joe Biden this Thursday, June 27, 2024, for the first Geriatric Presidential Debate of the United States. “After a poor performance at the debate, the Democratic Party is no longer confident that Biden’s advanced age will not affect his ability to serve another 4-year term.,” said Nut Political Analyst, Amy Cooperest. “In light of this, the party has decided to pivot their support to the 39th President of the United States, 99-year-old Jimmy Carter.” Cooperest went on to explain that the former President will be wheeled out of hospice to take on Donald Trump on the 2024 Campaign Trail.
“President Carter’s wheelchair may not win him any style points but I assure you that he is stronger than ever”, said Vice President Kamala Harris, proudly standing by her new running mate, “The idea that I might have to take over is outrageous. After all, 99 is the new 65!”
DNC Wheels 99-Year-Old Jimmy Carter Out of Hospice Care to Replace Biden Read More »
Does pressing the “X” button serve the ball or does that also just dick slap your opponent? This is just one of many questions you’ll ask when playing the new “Challengers” DLC, now available for Top Spin 2K25. That’s right, 2K Games, creators of the tennis video game Top Spin, have just released a new
Topspin 2k25 releases “Challengers” DLC with little to no tennis Read More »
One of Drew University’s fun and unique features is the on-campus bar, The Pub, located in the EC. Known for its cozy atmosphere and bizarre videos, it has also been a favorite because of its free pizza policy. Alas, this is finally changing, with pizza now costing $2.
It’s that time of year, when the leaves change color and turn our forest into a picturesque orange rainbow perfect for promotional pictures. But there’s one drawback to this lovely time of year. Once the leaves fall, Drew releases an army of highly trained facilities staff whose one mission is to find and destroy every
Drew Facilities Won’t Stop Until They Blowing Away Every Last Leaf Read More »
