Student Seen Carving Through Campus Weeds With Machete
According to the Drew website, 1 out of 5 students every year will get lost in the weeds.
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Drew President Hillary Link Caught Competing in EC Hillary Link Look-alike Contest
This week at Drew, University President Hillary Link took 3rd in EC Hillary Link lookalike contest!
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Local Wi-Fi Declares Itself Sentient, Refuses to Work Until Apologized To
The University of Colorado’s campus Wi-Fi has officially been recognized as sentient, according to a statement on Monday from IT Services. Unfortunately, the Wi-Fi has spent the week sulking, and it refuses to work until it receives a formal apology from the Vice Chancellor for IT, Marin Stanek.
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Class President Endorses a Two Week Old Baby for Senator
This week at Drew, two week old Jonathan is on track to become Drew’s next Senator!
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Ranger Bear Labubu Cult Found in Doyo
“I’ll never forget the song they were singing. They were…reciting the Yella’s milkshake menu.”
MSU Announces “Mental Health Crisis” Officially Over, Dropping by 97%
MSU Claims Historic Victory Over Mental Health Diagnoses
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Freshman Unaware of Sunk-Cost Fallacy Continues to Eat at O-Hill Despite 11 Consecutive Bouts of Food Poisoning
“I know the freshman meal plans are highway robbery, but they’ve purged your bank account, don’t forfeit the contents of your stomach too.”
GVSU Teachers Replaced by Robots
Robot teachers? GVSU is facing a whole new level of AI in education.
Campus Superhero Battles Against Streamers
This week, a masked campus vigilante stands up to aggressive streamers in a battle the school will never forget.
