Drew University officials announced today that the Wi-Fi network within the library has become fully sentient. The once-reliable connection, known affectionately as “Drew1x,” has evolved into an unpredictable, mischievous entity
Drew Wifi Gains Sentience, Now Actively Dodging Students Connections Read More »
As many students at Indiana University know, scamming isn’t a practice reserved for the elderly. From fake Taylor Swift tickets to $9 delivery fees on an UberEats McChicken, throngs of scholars have been burned by predatory business practices.
Kelley School of Business to Add Unprofessional Sales Co-major Read More »
In a bold and unexpected move, the squirrel population of Drew University’s Forest has officially declared independence, establishing themselves as the Free and United Forest Squirrel Republic (F.U.F.S.R.).
Drew Squirrels Declare Independance From Drew University Read More »
In a shocking turn of events that has left students, faculty, and the local community quaking in their Ranger Bear costumes, the prestigious Dorothy Young Center for the Arts at Drew University has been completely transformed into a Spirit Halloween store.
DoYo Becomes Spirit Halloween Since No One Was Really Using it Anyways Read More »
In a developing tragedy that has shaken the very foundation of Drew University’s food delivery ecosystem, local Doordash drivers are reportedly abandoning deliveries at an unprecedented rate…
“Where The Fuck is Baldwin!?” Says Doordash Driver Trying to Deliver Burrito For $2 Tip Read More »
In what some are calling Drew University’s most chilling initiative yet, McClintock Hall has officially launched Ghost Tours of its loudest dorm rooms. This latest campus event promises to expose students to the eerie, GPA-draining forces lurking within the residence hall’s walls. For years, McClintock’s residents have been plagued by strange noises, missing assignments, and mysterious disturbances—but no one suspected the true culprit: restless spirits, eternally doomed to haunt your study sessions.
In a shocking revelation that has left the campus community barking mad, Drew University’s Community Advisors made a discovery that could rival the plot of 101 Dalmatians. During routine dorm checks, they stumbled upon a hidden dog shelter, tucked away in a seemingly ordinary Baldwin Hall room.
CAs Find Entire Dog Shelter in Student’s Dorm During 6 Week Room Check Read More »
Drew University’s LAUNCH program has just announced an innovative new workshop designed to tackle one of the most difficult challenges facing students today: answering the question, “So, what’s your major?” without spiraling into existential dread.
LAUNCH to Offer ‘How to Answer “So, What’s Your Major?” Without Crying’ Workshop Read More »
In a recent shocking revelation to the Drew community, it has been discovered that this past Monday’s construction at Brothers College was not merely a routine roof replacement — in fact, a top-secret project is underway to transform the historic building into a launchpad for a guided cruise missile.
In a move that’s shaking the academic world (or at least the very quiet world of Drew University), all Drew professors are being replaced by an AI chat bot. That’s right—goodbye, actual humans with PhDs and personal vendettas against tardy students, and hello to a shiny, 24/7, emotionally-void chatbot that doesn’t care if you turn in your essay 11 days late, as long as you type it in Comic Sans.
Due to Budget Cuts, Drew Starts Replacing Professors With ChatGPT Read More »
