“The loss in parking ticket revenue would be too great,” said MSU President Kevin Guskiwhodoesthisguythinkheis as he sipped on a hot latte from the comfort of his own home.
Last spring, Indiana University faced significant unrest amidst the Israel-Palestine protests that swept the nation. After pointing snipers at student groups in Dunn Meadow failed to quell the uproar, administrators looked towards other – more innovative – methods.
All of Monroe County “Closed for Construction” to Prevent IU Protests Read More »
In a shocking display, Drew has announced a radical overhaul of its parking permit system to replace the current structure after the sale of the commuter lot to Madison. As of now, all commuter students must prove their worthiness to park their vehicle at Drew in a series of high-stakes swordfights.
Commuter Students Must Now Earn Parking Passes Through Trial by Combat Read More »
In a groundbreaking deal, Drew University has signed an official partnership with the Free and United Forest Squirrel Republic (F.U.F.S.R.), the newly formed squirrel government in The Forest. Under this historic arrangement, students, faculty, and staff are now required to carry “Acorn Passes” to ensure safe passage through F.U.F.S.R.-controlled zones.
Calling all Spartans! It is time to sign up for next semester’s classes. On your SIS portal, you can now go into your classes section and add classes that you can’t get into for next semester.
There are nearly zero classes available, unless you are interested in molecular biology or literal rocket science.
The almighty Zeus has taken a grave matter into his hands and is now pouring down a torrent of meteorological chaos upon Drew University. The cause for such celestial wrath? A simple, innocuous act of human negligence – the incessant blare of campus leaf blowers.
Drew University officials announced today that the Wi-Fi network within the library has become fully sentient. The once-reliable connection, known affectionately as “Drew1x,” has evolved into an unpredictable, mischievous entity
Drew Wifi Gains Sentience, Now Actively Dodging Students Connections Read More »
#7 Olds Hall
Creepy place, one long hallway on the first floor, decrepit building… it’s terrifying.
In a bold and unexpected move, the squirrel population of Drew University’s Forest has officially declared independence, establishing themselves as the Free and United Forest Squirrel Republic (F.U.F.S.R.).
Drew Squirrels Declare Independance From Drew University Read More »
As many students at Indiana University know, scamming isn’t a practice reserved for the elderly. From fake Taylor Swift tickets to $9 delivery fees on an UberEats McChicken, throngs of scholars have been burned by predatory business practices.
Kelley School of Business to Add Unprofessional Sales Co-major Read More »
