Campus - The Nut

KSU Adopts Sentient Buses That Leave Right When Students Are About to Get to the Bus

Kennesaw State University will be unveiling new smart buses next week. The improved buses will use thermal technology to detect students. Essentially, the smart buses are sentient enough that they are capable of tracking students’ locations. However, the buses will have a countdown system for how long students have to get on before the bus leaves.

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GSU Advisor Revealed to Be Two Kids in a Trenchcoat

Campus / Georgia State University

For centuries, students have relied on their advisors to guide them through their college experience. Whether it be to design their upcoming course schedule or to help choose a major, advisors are a key part of the academic landscape. Unfortunately for Georgia State Students, they seem to only make matters worse.

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To Compete With The Easter Bunny, Ranger Bear Hides Tuition Money Around Campus

Campus, Holiday, Student, Uncategorized / Drew

In an effort to compete with the Easter Bunny’s growing popularity, Ranger Bear took to hiding tuition money around campus. The money, taken from real students’ tuition, was cleverly scattered in small, unassuming acorns.

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Barnard Withholds Admissions Rate, Enters “Mysterious Era”

Campus, Uncategorized / Barnard College

Barnard College has released admissions for the class of 2030, and in an effort to soft-launch their “mysterious era,” the institution has declined to publicly disclose the admissions rate for a second year in a row.

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Unusually Warm Weather Impacts Winter Short Wearers

Campus, Student / CU Boulder

“It’s just a really big part of my identity,” bemoans Carson Reed. “Who am I when I’m not standing out because of my shorts in subzero temps?”

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Barnard Junior “Gets Bold on Aux,” Immediately Socially Exiled After Playing Country Music at Pregame

Campus, Student / Barnard College

Carter reportedly queued up “Tennessee Whisky” immediately after, at which point multiple guests grumbled and one person was seen whispering, “Is this allowed?”

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Back to Basics: GSU Freshmen Required to Take Intro to Handwriting 101

Campus / Georgia State University

Along with the rise of digital technology came the fall of handwritten assignments. For years, the education system has relied on online software for course content, announcements, and submissions. What used to be a tireless effort to fill in a Scantron bubble is now the simple click of a mouse.

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Greenway Closure Leaves Georgia State Students Screaming Crying Throwing Up

Campus / Georgia State University

Expecting a normal return to class after a restful spring break? Not on Georgia State’s watch! Students on the downtown campus were shocked to return on Monday to find half of the Greenway blocked by Georgia State Blue™ fencing. The barrier prohibits students from entering the Student Center, Library North, and Langdale Hall from the Greenway.

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Student Who Went to Thailand on Spring Break Rewards Self for Attending Class with Fifth Ave Shopping Spree

Campus, Side Hustle, Student / Barnard College

After returning from a “life-changing” spring break trip to Thailand, Barnard sophomore Lila Kensington reportedly rewarded herself for attending all of her classes this week with a casual Fifth Avenue shopping spree.

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Time Traveler Begs: “Please Don’t Form Study Group with All Procrastinators, Creates Procrastination Black Hole”

Campus / Grand Valley State University

A local student reported something truly remarkable. A person claiming to be from the year 2049 showed up at the Mary Idema Pew Library on Monday trying to stop four students from forming a study group for their project.

Time Traveler Begs: “Please Don’t Form Study Group with All Procrastinators, Creates Procrastination Black Hole” Read More »