Student - The Nut

Student Who Has Been Blowing His Nose For Last Hour Starts To Wonder How He Could Possibly Have More Mucus Up There

Jordan, a Computer Science major, was minding his own business in his dorm room when the sudden urge to blow his nose overcame him. He initially believed that it meant his recent stint with the common cold was reaching its end, but he would soon prove to be mistaken. Every minute or so for the next 50 minutes he would have to blow his nose again, and after a while he began fearing that something was wrong. How could he possibly have that much mucus up his nose? His sinuses are only so big!

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Computer Majors Shocked to Hear Water’s Other Uses Beside Processing Chat GPT

Food, Student / Kennesaw State University

Sheply went further and further into his research as he typed in prompts into ChatGPT, asking about it. “Apparently, water is a major component in Red Bull, sodas, baking, and stuff. I’m actually 70% water, and I need that to live too. I totally forgot that!” Sheply then was curious about water by itself and actually drank it. He then washed it down with Root Beer.

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Student Practicing Piano in EC, Looks up to Realize They’ve Been Playing for 30 Years

Campus, Student / Drew

Hebert Horbin began practicing in 1995, but due to a shift in the space-time continuum, he kept playing for 30 years!

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Students Claim Applying for on-Campus Job More Dificult Then off-Campus Job

Campus, Student / Grand Valley State University

Junior Kelly Jones applied for a job on campus, which she assumed would be easy: Helping people edit papers. She thought, “Okay, I’m good at all of this. I might not be super outgoing, but they do mention that they train students!” Excitedly, she went ahead and submitted an application.

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Commuter Students Notice Massive Thigh Muscles From Having to Walk up Hill From the Commuter Lots

Campus, Student / Ohio University

Commuter students at Ohio University Athens have recently noticed their thigh muscles growing exponentially, becoming like those of a bodybuilder within the three short weeks this semester has been in session.

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Students Taking Extra Credits in “Fast Track” to Graduation Collapse From Weight of Textbooks

Campus, Student / Grand Valley State University

Due to the pressure of an ever-changing job market, a radical new approach has emerged amongst ambitious students at Grand Valley State University. Labeled the “Fast Track” to success, the strategy involves doubling a credit load each semester with hopes of graduating in half the time and cost it usually would take.

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