In what campus officials are calling “the fourth time this month,” a fire alarm ripped through the peaceful slumber of students in a northern dorm at 3:39 AM – Monday morning, sources say. When the outside windchill temperature was an astonishing -10 degrees.
Fire Alarm Goes Off at 3 AM in Below-Zero Weather, Students Suspect Arson Was Popcorn Read More »
A Barnard student experienced what experts are calling “a catastrophic gastrointestinal event” late Tuesday night in a shared campus bathroom, marking yet another reminder that college dining halls remain a lawless environment.
Student Reaches Out To Parent With In-Depth Food Poisoning Analysis Read More »
An internship opportunity straight from Hell does not sound heavenly, but at least they are hiring, and interns make it out alive.
Students Fall Victim to Spam EMail Selling Their Soul for a Paid Internship Read More »
The final name that the board agreed on was a result of a compromise between various members of the school staff and executives. According to Benioff again: “A name like Jake Gonzalez Schmitt is just the thing we need to more adequately represent our current situation and more modern demographic shift. It sounds like the name of a possibly part-Hispanic white frat guy from Oro Valley, and I think that’s just too perfect an opportunity to help reinvent our great school.
The University of Arizona Is Planning on Changing Its Official Name to “Jake Schmitt” Read More »
The President of Georgia State University claims that the plan was developed with students in mind. When asked about the upcoming FIFA World Cup that Atlanta is hosting, he denied any association. “Student happiness is our number one priority,” he stated. The $80 Million project was expedited just months before the World Cup after years of static progress.
To celebrate the sunshine, 50 students collectively decided to meet up outside Brody Hall to enjoy the balmy weather. However, they forgot to check the forecast for the day. When they arrived at Brody there was no sunshine to be found and were instead greeted by a blizzard. In spite of this, 49 out of the 50 decided to stay and sunbathe.
“I hit print and nothing happened, which is pretty common for this campus,” the student explained, their face blank with shock. “But then…it just…started talking? Like actual words. And I was like, ‘Okay, I’ve finally lost it. This is where they throw me in the loony bin. This is how it ends.’”
Printer Achieves Consciousness, Still Refuses To Work Read More »
Students on their way to classes on Tuesday afternoon found themselves stopping in awe at the mismatched snowman being built on the west green. The snowman itself was certainly a feat of ingenuity, being as tall as it was, but what was really fascinating was what it was dressed in. When asked, the nursing students
Students Dress Snowman Entirely In Clothes They Found On the Green Read More »
Throughout the KSU Campus, students have spoken about privacy concerns over the new A. I use surveillance to monitor the campus. Worries over illegal recording, access to citizens’ personal information, and the fact that a third-party company is ahead on this. It’s what one student calls “Orson-Wellian,” when interviewed by The Nut. When asked if he meant “Orwellian,” his response was,
Despite the prevalence of these critters all around the area, University of Arizona groundskeeper Greta Dawson has noted a considerable lack of their presence on campus. “Can you believe that the last time Javelinas wandered onto campus was nearly a century ago? Have we really become that much less inviting?” Said the *single 66-year old gardener and former design consultant.
