Parent Solves Winter Break Standoff By Strapping College Student To Plane Seat, Launching Them Back To Campus
The student apparently could be heard yelling that they “could have driven” while ascending rapidly by the flight radio.
Campus
Drew Announces Tolley-Brown Circle Construction Is Definitely Not Related to Sudden Emergence of Mole People
The Nut has since conducted their own investigation and found incriminating evidence within the Drew Archives of mole-like humanoid creatures living beneath the Tolley-Brown circle.
UNT Administration Politely Requests Students Stop Entering THE HALLWAY
Last Monday morning, the UNT Dean’s Office put out an official bulletin asking that the student body stop entering THE HALLWAY, citing concerns over student safety. THE HALLWAY mysteriously appeared within the Sycamore Hall library last month, with security camera footage showing it simply manifesting into the Library’s outer wall between video frames.
UNT Administration Politely Requests Students Stop Entering THE HALLWAY Read More »
Woman Hired to Act as a Mother Who Lives Vicariously Through Her Children to Make Students Feel at Home for the Holidays
She has been seen giving students instruments and sports equipment and telling them that she “sacrificed everything for them, so they can’t fail!!”.
Asu Student Suspended From Tooker for Allegedly Sleeping Before CMH 114 Midterm
Residential staff labeled the incident “a breach of academic culture,” noting that J’s eight full hours of rest posed “a violation of the complete Fulton School’s experience.” Students on the floor gathered in the hallway chanting obscenities as RAs escorted J out of the building for what they described as “malicious resting.”
Asu Student Suspended From Tooker for Allegedly Sleeping Before CMH 114 Midterm Read More »
Studies Find That Students Who Study More Are Likely to Get Good Grades
A new study has found that students who study course material before test day are more likely to score a passing grade. Some students have shared their thoughts on these findings.
“Hard work pays off, that’s no shock,” UNT senior and valedictorian Alayna Sterling said. “It’s a miracle we needed a study to tell us all the obvious.”
“I never even considered that,” UNT freshman Faye Ling said. “That explains so much.”
“Y’all are taking tests?” former UNT student DeNyle Jones said.
Studies Find That Students Who Study More Are Likely to Get Good Grades Read More »
RTD Buses Leaving for Thanksgiving Will Depart Sometime Between 8 AM and Next Tuesday
Citing “Unpredictable operational factors” ranging from weather patterns to “The general mood of the universe,” Regional Transportation District officials announced Monday that buses taking students home for Thanksgiving break will depart sometime between 8 a.m. Wednesday and, conservatively, next Tuesday.
RTD Buses Leaving for Thanksgiving Will Depart Sometime Between 8 AM and Next Tuesday Read More »
UVA Students Develop Tooth Fairy Pyramid Scheme
This week, UVA has seen a surge of physical altercations among students. Small groups of masked students have been seen spontaneously jumping their peers, knocking out their teeth, gathering them off the pavement, then running away.
CU PD Reports Alarming Increase in Demon Summons on Campus
Boulder Police have released a statement condemning the recent rise of demon summonings in residence halls and the basements of campus buildings.
CU PD Reports Alarming Increase in Demon Summons on Campus Read More »
Drag Shows Are Banned! Wait, No They Aren’t. Wait, Yes They Are. Wait…
UNT leadership fears of possibly losing funds because of the new education crusade from the government.As they are after classes, gender identity and sexuality. UNT knows it cannot afford to eliminate the sociology, psychology, and theology programs entirely, since discussions of these topics occur in the classes. As any fearless leader would do, a hasty decision had to be made.
Drag Shows Are Banned! Wait, No They Aren’t. Wait, Yes They Are. Wait… Read More »
