The Drew administration urges students to contact the Madison authorities should they encounter a horde of lady beetles, so they can send the proper experts to deal with it.
Copy of Students Prepare for the Upcoming Winter Lady Bug Apocalypse Read More »
As the high of fall break sizzles out, students return to campus with higher hopes and in good spirits. Coming back at the peak of midterm season, all students want to do is lock in.
However, Drew Facilities had a better idea.
Drew Students Gladiator Battle Over the Only Laundry Machine on Campus Read More »
Kennesaw, GA. – As midterms begin, KSU junior Anna Way is suggesting a way to help struggling students like her, “Academic helpers.”
Junior Students Pitch “Academic Helpers” for Students: Later, Finds out Advisors Exist Read More »
In recent months the concept of the performative male has been bursting in popularity. I thought it was silly, laughable that even men have to pretend to be into Clairo, read feminist literature, and drink matcha, I already do these things. I thought this, like many memes, would be a mere fad. That was until a Co-op put on a Performative Male Competition on MAC Avenue.
Opinion: Why I Should Have Won the Performative Male Competition Read More »
Back in March, with the 140th anniversary of the College coming up, our professional street interviewer team (not to be confused with our Ragebait TikTok street interviewer team) asked several students around the site of Old Main about what the building meant to them. This exercise likely just raised even more questions about how clueless each of the interviewees was
“Why should they, those low-life, car-driving, money saving stains on humanity, be treated equal to us, who pay lavish fees for the complete college experience”, says one concerned dormer.
ASU Establishes The “ASU Commuters Force” to Terrorize Commuters Read More »
After spending upwards of $10,000 on an impressive new Chromebook, sophomore student Stephen Jockey now possesses a machine strong enough to keep up with the ever-increasing pace of his oppressive college workload.
Student’s Chromebook Running Minecraft With RTX Mods Bursts Into Flames Read More »
CU sophomore Connor Anderson has unveiled what he calls “Furry Lite,” a stripped-down, budget-friendly alternative to the full furry lifestyle. Instead of investing in an elaborate costume, Anderson debuted a pair of wool goat-skin, buttless chaps at last Friday’s student mixer, insisting the look was “both economical and breathable.”
Innovative CU Student Debuts Goat-Skin Chaps in what they call ‘Furry-Lite’ Read More »
Jordan, a Computer Science major, was minding his own business in his dorm room when the sudden urge to blow his nose overcame him. He initially believed that it meant his recent stint with the common cold was reaching its end, but he would soon prove to be mistaken. Every minute or so for the next 50 minutes he would have to blow his nose again, and after a while he began fearing that something was wrong. How could he possibly have that much mucus up his nose? His sinuses are only so big!
Sheply went further and further into his research as he typed in prompts into ChatGPT, asking about it. “Apparently, water is a major component in Red Bull, sodas, baking, and stuff. I’m actually 70% water, and I need that to live too. I totally forgot that!” Sheply then was curious about water by itself and actually drank it. He then washed it down with Root Beer.
Computer Majors Shocked to Hear Water’s Other Uses Beside Processing Chat GPT Read More »
